


The Greatest Cat-napping Of All Time (According To Yang)

by Jellycho



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, First Meetings, Humor, Unbeta'd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 18:37:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1315108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellycho/pseuds/Jellycho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yang sees Blake move into her neighbourhood and immediately decides that she wants to get to know her... but how? So she bribes Ruby and the pair of sisters device a plan that must absolutely not fail. Hopefully.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Greatest Cat-napping Of All Time (According To Yang)

Yang Xiao Long isn't one to lose herself in the details of her own neighbourhood. Things have either always been there or suddenly appear in the middle of the night for her to do a double take and stand there wondering just when it was that anyone painted that bench green, it was blue last week, or was that last month? Oh but who cares anyway, right? And just like that she'll drop the subject and go on with her life, whistling happily as she thinks of what to do during the day.

But today is not one of those days, and that's what's got her feeling particularly strange and uncool. All of a sudden Yang stops in the middle of the sidewalk. She blinks once and looks straight ahead and focuses on the moving trucks. Okay. She blinks twice and notices how they're all unloading their cargo into that one terribly ugly green house that was on sale since like, forever. Alright. She blinks thrice and notices the stunning, black haired  _beauty_  talking to the moving staff, and that isn't really okay or alright, but damn fine.

"Woah, baby."

With a whole new resolve in mind Yang puffs out her chest, smirks, and continues her walk passing right in front of Beauty -- her new nickname for this mysterious and gorgeous girl -- who promptly proceeds to ignore her, seeing as she's so busy signing something for the guy she's talking to and suddenly turning around to ask another guy to please be careful with that, it was her mother's, it's a real relic and she'd hate to lose it...

Yang can't hear much more now; she's too far away and it'd be awkward to walk back there and try again. So she huffs in defeat and sulks her way back home, already thinking of new plans to talk to Beauty like an evil mastermind with just a really big dumb crush as motivation instead of evil.

* * *

"I'm telling you, sis, you've got to help me out with this."

"No way! Last time you roped me into this kinda stuff everything was on fire and I had to take the blame!"

"That was just one time!" Yang yells, then sighs. This is hopeless. Ruby's being so stubborn and uncooperative right now, and that's so not nice when your big sister needs you, Ruby, you should know that by now. Yang runs a hand through her hair in frustration, trying to think of something that'll get Ruby ticking--

She smirks so big she's afraid her face will break. "Ruby, sis, do you wanna earn ten bucks?"

Ruby's groan tells her that, yes, she wants to earn ten bucks.

* * *

The next time Yang goes near the ugly green painted house it's not to look at it and think _'wow, that's a really ugly colour to paint a house with,'_ but to gather information actually. She and Ruby sit on one of those suddenly blue benches near Beauty's house, each with their own pair of sunglasses, a hat, and a newspaper to draw attention away from themselves, supposedly. The pair of sisters sit and patiently wait for the black haired girl to appear, talking and exchanging ideas and information on what they so far know about Beauty, and also eating from the same bag of chips the two are currently sharing because neither ate anything and they are really, really hungry.

"You really ought to stop calling her Beauty, you know," Ruby says as she eats yet another chip. "You might accidentally call her that in the middle of a conversation or something."

Yang shrugs. "But then that'd be like, this super cool compliment. Getting called beauty right in the middle of a conversation." She picks a chip and bites half of it to eat it, the other half being left for later when she's done chewing. "I'd hella take it."

"Not everyone is the same as you, Yang."

Oh. Oh yeah. "Dang it," Yang sighs, dropping her head into her hands and the newspaper accidentally slides off onto the street.

Ruby giggles and pats her sister on the back. Then she turns her attention back to her own newspaper and the chips she's collected on her skirt. "Why are we doing this, though? Can't you just go up to her and talk like a normal person?"

"Ruby, you can't just go up to a beauty like Beauty and go 'hey, what's up?' It has to be special."

"We really need to learn her name," Ruby says, shaking her head.

Just as Yang is about to go on about how Beauty's nickname really lives up to her expectations, something happens that gets her to shut up, squeak in surprise, and quickly dive in to save her newspaper to hide herself with it. There, walking down the sidewalk, is Beauty, holding a couple of shopping bags and wearing a very pretty black ribbon on her head.

Yang and Ruby watch her fumble with her keys right on her doorstep, almost dropping her bags while trying to fish it out. Yang says something about it being cute. Ruby giggles and says that, okay, maybe Beauty kinda fits her, but she should _really_ learn her name anyway. While the two keep talking the black haired girl goes into her house, bending down to pet the slender black and white cat that's come up to her as if to welcome her home, and then she closes the door and the show is over.

The two sisters sit on the bench still, slowly putting down their newspapers, with Yang sighing while muttering something about how cute that ribbon was on her and Ruby brings her fingers to cup her chin, thinking.

She suddenly snaps her fingers, startling her sister. "Yang," she says, "I've got an idea but you are not going to like it."

Yang grins. "That's my baby sister!" she ruffles Ruby's hair affectionately, hugging her and accidentally dropping her own hat in the process. Then she laughs. "Okay, but what's the plan? And why do you say I'm going to hate it?"

* * *

"God, this is seriously the worst idea you have ever come up with."

Ruby tries to hold back giggles but fails miserably. "I told you you weren't going to like it."

The pair are now in the blonde's room, discussing the plan. Yang doesn't want to argue any further. She just pouts, kicks a shirt lying on her floor, and then falls over on her bed with a loud groan and then a whine, trying to portray to Ruby just how much this is upsetting her. "Ruby," she says while staring at her ceiling, "I can't do that. What would we tell dad?"

"We hide the evidence," Ruby says in such a serious tone that Yang has to sit up in surprise to stare at her, confused. "Yang, we've hidden worse. This is nothing compared to that one time when we had that box with--"

"Okay, I get the idea, sis." Yang puffs, then gets up and drags her fingers down her own hair. "When should I do this, then?"

"As soon as possible."

That means right now, so Yang gets on the move and leaves the house, walking down the street towards that god awful green house with a prettier sight inside of it, and there she waits.

* * *

Three hours later has Ruby sitting in the middle of her own room, blasting music from her computer and designing small weapons made out of everyday objects that she's borrowed, not stolen, mind you, from around her house. She hums in thought as she turns around her makeshift blades in her hands, delighting in the way they seem to weigh nothing when she does a few quick stabs at the air in front of her. She then does a few tricks; flips them in the air with the utmost care of a professional grading their own work. Once done, Ruby smiles and sets down the blades. She scribbles into a notebook with a satisfied hum--

\--and then screams out loud when her door is suddenly kicked open, revealing a very disgruntled Yang with multiple scratches on her arms and legs. "Ruby," she breathes, "Holy shit, Ruby, I did it. Help."

The black haired weapons maker stares at her sister, eyes wide and confused, before she looks down at what her sister is holding and smiles.

"Meow," Beauty's cat says.

"Kitty!" Ruby says.

"I hate my life," Yang says.

* * *

The thing about cats is that they seem to have some sort of personal vendetta against certain types of people, or at least that's what Yang thinks, because the damn animal won't let her get close without hissing and scratching, but for some reason Ruby's totally a-okay to come near it.

"It's like it senses that I want to get close to its owner or something," she tells Ruby the next day, when they're both trying to feed it something in the kitchen before they go buy some cat food later. Ruby's taking care of the cat for now, seeing as how Yang just has no hopes of even petting it.

And Ruby enjoys this fact a little too much. "Maybe it does," she laughs, and then laughs even harder when Yang growls at her and gets silenced by the cat's hissing again. "It even senses when you're talking shit about it."

Yang puffs and pouts and sulks in the middle of the kitchen. "I can't believe I did this," she mutters, "I stole Beauty's cat. I am a kidnapper. A cat-napper."

"Please don't start with the puns, Yang."

"You just can't appreciate a good joke!"

The grey eyed girl rolls her eyes and sighs, returning her attention to the cat currently eating tuna off a small bowl she's going to make Yang clean later. The cat is surprisingly calm about being in a new environment; right before sleeping Ruby had read something about cats and introducing them to a new house, and she'd expected a scared, meowing mess instead of the purring cutie currently licking its whiskers right in front of her. Ruby smiles then, pets the black and white cat and feels her heart melt when the animal starts purring even louder. She even squeaks in delight when it nuzzles her hand.

Yang makes a noise of disapproval at the back of her throat. "I bet its name is Satan."

"Yang..."

"Look at it!" the blonde points an accusatory finger at the cat and then pulls it back when it hisses at her again. "That thing's shunning me!"

"Sis, how about you go outside and try to see what your crush is up to?"

Yang whines, Ruby glares. Yang pouts, Ruby glares. Yang loses the argument, Ruby smiles. Yang gets out of the house, Ruby continues petting and playing with the cat, yelling at Yang to go buy some cat food on the way back too. Yang hates her life twice as hard now.

* * *

It isn't really that necessary for her to walk by Beauty's still-really-badly-painted house, but Yang decides to go 'fuck it' once again, whistling innocently as she walks by Beauty. The ribbon girl is in her front lawn, looking around with what appears to be that damn cat's food bowl in her hand. Her long black hair is tied in a bun, and Yang can't help thinking about how cute it looks like that, but she decides that she prefers to see Beauty with her hair down.

Beauty doesn't seem to notice Yang this time either, so instead of losing to her attention being somewhere else again, Yang coughs into her fist and successfully gets Beauty to turn around and look at her and woah, man, those are some really pretty eyes right there.

Yang smiles awkwardly and suddenly every single imaginary conversation she's had with the girl escapes her mind and leaves her with nothing to say. "Hey," she trips verbally for the first time, but after that it's a little easier to get a hold of herself. "What's up?"

This is now officially the worst day of Yang's life.

The girl blinks, then smiles a tiny smile back just as awkwardly, and Yang feels her heart beat in her chest and she would really like it to be quiet right now. "Hello," she says, and her pretty voice isn't really helping Yang's freaking heart calm down, you know, "Oh, don't mind me. I'm just looking for something."

"Ooh, can I help?" Yang wants to punch herself in the face.

Beauty's smile widens and she laughs, and now Yang also wants to punch her own heart into shutting the hell up right now, so help her god. "Thank you, that's very kind of you," Beauty says. "I'm looking for my cat, actually. He hasn't come back since yesterday evening, and I'm starting to get a little worried. This is a new neighbourhood after all..."

Yang nods. "I can look around for him then. I'll let you know if I find him." The lies tickle her throat as she says them, and they're almost as annoying as her own heart. "What's he like?" 

The girl tells her the general stuff, that her cat is black with white paws and the white fur of his face goes down onto his stomach and makes him look like he's wearing a tux, and that was why she wanted to name it Tux but she decided against it in the end. She tells Yang of her cat's yellow eyes that sometimes look a little green depending on the light, and on and on about the damn cat, and Yang has to hide her hatred of the little creature she has decided to name Satan--

Oh. That reminds her. "So what's your cat's name?" 

The black haired girl looks startled for a moment, as she's been interrupted, and then suddenly she realizes she's been rambling and promptly blushes a tiny, discreet shade of pink that Yang finds to be so fucking cute, damn it. "Oh," Beauty says, "his name is Oreo."

Yang almost chokes on her spit containing her laughter, but somehow, she manages to pass it off as just a coughing fit.

* * *

She rushes back home without the bag of cat food and doesn't listen when Ruby yells at her for it. "Sis," she breathes in her trance, leaning against the door, "we talked just now. We super talked."

Ruby immediately quiets down and stares at Yang with delight. "You did it! You had a normal conversation!"

"I started it with 'hey, what's up?' though."

"Oh. Ouch."

The blonde walks up to the living room, tired, and then shrieks when she finds Oreo sleeping on her favourite couch. "What's this jackass doing here?!"

Her sister walks over to her with a confused frown that dissipates when she sees the kitty's adorable sleeping form. "Aww, so that's where it was!" She bends down to pet Oreo awake, and then squeaks about how cute he is when it mews at her all confused and alarmed. 

"Whatever," Yang decides to sit on another couch, then fall over on it, then sprawl herself out, totally not sulking at the loss of her throne. "I talked to Beauty about Satan, and it turns out that's not really his name. She named him Oreo, Ruby. Oreo. I think this is love by now."

"That's just so adorable!" Ruby kisses the cat's head. "Oreo. That totally fits you, you big cutie."

Yang makes several disgusted sounds, even sticking her tongue out. Then all of a sudden she remembers something she forgot and accidentally bites her own tongue, sits up in surprise, and then falls off the couch. Ruby can't help laughing at her, but Yang doesn't find it funny so she glares at her from the floor to get her to shut up, and it obviously doesn't work and Ruby laughs even harder. 

After a while Ruby finally calms down enough to ask her what's wrong. The elder sister whines from the floor, covering her face with her hands and dragging them down her cheeks. "I can't believe I asked her for her cat's name but not hers," Yang groans. "Look at my priorities, Ruby. I've got them all organized."

"I can tell." Ruby picks Oreo up and sits on the couch he was occupying, setting him on her lap and giggling when he gets comfortable and becomes a big loaf on her legs. "Okay, but now the real fun begins. She's already looking for him, so now we just have to give Oreo back. Maybe tomorrow. You can tell her you found him roaming our garden or something."

"I have to wait until tomorrow?!"

Ruby shrugs. "Well, yeah. If you do it right now she'll be suspicious." She starts to pet Oreo affectionately under the chin, then starts cooing at how cute he looks and how cute his purring is. "Wait until tomorrow afternoon. It's a little more believable then. And don't forget to ask for her name!"

Yang still doesn't find the spot on the floor comfortable, but she's too lazy to get up, so she's remained there all this time and has no intention of moving at all. She huffs. "I won't forget..." she mumbles, then shoots Ruby multiple disapproving and disgusted sounds because she's gone back to cuddling and kissing the damn cat and Yang just really hates him.

* * *

"Ruby! Oreo ripped apart my posters!"

"Ruby! Oreo shit on my laundry!"

"Ruby! Satan keeps peeing everywhere! Stop giving him water!" ("That's inhumane!")

"Ruby! Satan scratched me!"

"Ruby! Satan keeps hissing at me and now I can't get in the bathroom!"

"Ruby, I'm _not_ cleaning Satan's hairballs!"

"Ruby!"

"Ruby!"

"Ruby!"

The fifteen year old slams her bedroom door closed, locks it, and starts working on a spear using a very long nail and a broomstick. She turns up her music loud enough so that no sound can make it in. Yang can solve her own problems. She's the older one anyway.

* * *

Midnight hits and Yang still can't believe how Ruby could've abandoned her this way, how she's completely deserted her, left her alone to her destiny, cast her own sister away, turned her back on Yang and never came back--

A hiss brings her back to the present and she hates everything. Again. Oreo is on her bed, occupying all of it by simply lying in the middle, and all she can think of is all the damn fur that will be sticking to her blankets and pillows, and the pee and shit all over his ass, about how much she hates him. "Get the hell off my bed."

The cat hisses again.

Yang's so tired that she hisses back.

Oreo meows low, in a warning tone.

Yang tells him to suck her dick.

Oreo suddenly springs up at her swatting and hissing, spitting, and Yang's so out of there, man, fuck this, she's not sleeping in the same room as this asshole. Nope. Not a chance. She locks her bedroom door and walks over to her sister's in defeat, banging with all the force she can muster on the door to be heard over the music, and all the while she's cursing Ruby's taste in music because damn it, sis, you just had to choose the loudest possible songs--

Ruby finally opens the door and glares at Yang. "What."

The blonde smiles and shrugs. "I got kicked out of my room."

Maybe Ruby laughs, but it costs her a headlock, and before long the two sisters are wrestling in Ruby's room until they both fall asleep, half finished spear and asshole cat long forgotten for the night.

* * *

The next morning goes without event, with Ruby taking care of Oreo and Yang staying the hell away. She resists the urge to head out and find Beauty to give her her freakin' cat back already, take it, please take it, but Ruby keeps telling her to wait until the evening. So instead she practices what she's going to say when she gives Beauty back her demon, and it all goes to hell from there.

She either sounds too cheesy, too obvious, too dorky, or too stupid. There is no way to find a balance in her own words, and it's during her twentieth attempt at trying to sound decent that Yang gives up and decides to let whatever happens happen, just like last time. Maybe something will come out. 

By the time the sun is setting Yang decides that she's had enough of cat fur all over the place and tries to pick Oreo up to take him away. It doesn't work, and she ends up with so many scratches on her arms that she considers punching the cat out of the window and onto Beauty's lawn, just like that. Nyoom. Flying cats are better than flying saucers.

Ruby intervenes, telling her that she'll carry Oreo all the way, and Yang can do the talking by herself and she'll stay quiet and just smile and nod. The blonde doesn't know what to do first, but then Ruby points out the scratches and how bad that'd look when giving Beauty her cat, and then she's sold.

The sisters walk out of their house together, Ruby carrying Oreo and cuddling him, Yang walking ahead and not trying to hide how much she hates the damn, awful, terrible, fucking cat--

"Oreo!"

It's quite the coincidence to see the black haired girl already out in her front lawn, looking as though she's just now returned from somewhere and is on her way to the door. Oreo, as if on command, jumps out from Ruby's grasp and runs towards his owner, rubbing against her legs and purring, meowing, demanding the attention that he didn't get in the sisters' house.

Beauty looks up and smiles broadly to both girls, but only one is mentally shouting threats at her own heart to not do this again, man, we talked about this. "Where'd you find him?" the black haired girl says.

Yang's brain shuts down. Oh shit. Emergency mode activated. "Our front lawn. He was right there, eating grass."

That makes Beauty laugh, and Yang smiles so wide, maybe her face will crack. Again. "Really now, you silly thing?" she says, picking up her cat and kissing him on the forehead, and Yang suddenly finds that cuter than when Ruby did it. Ruby's too busy laughing quietly in the background to even notice.

Beauty looks back at them both. "Thank you," she says. "I'm so glad you found him so fast."

"Sure, no problem." And then as if it were an afterthought Yang splutters: "Name's Yang, by the way."

"Yang," the black haired girl says her name as if it were golden. And it is, duh, it just feels ten times more special when _she_ says it. "Thank you, Yang. And you are?"

She's talking to Ruby now. She breaks into a grin; obviously she is enjoying this. "I'm Ruby! Yang's sister."

"Thank you both so much once again," the girl says. "My name is Blake. I've got to go inside now, but we should talk some other time. I'm sure we'll be good friends."

Beauty-- _Blake,_ Yang reminds herself, goes into her house and waves goodbye at them before closing the door, Oreo inside. Ruby nods to herself, glad that her plan worked, before turning to her sister to ask her what she thinks, huh? Not a bad plan after all, right? But Yang is too busy smiling like an idiot and spilling hearts out of herself to even take her seriously.

Ruby rolls her eyes. "This is ground control to major Yang," she says, "Can you hear me, major Yang?"

"Her name is Blake but Beauty fits her better," Yang breathes, still in her trance. She snaps out of it to look at her little sister and grins, ruffles her hair affectionately. "See, Ruby? That's how you get girls."

Ruby snorts, then grabs the blonde by the arm and drags her away back home. "Come on, sis. You owe me ten bucks."

Yang's eyes go wide. Oh shit.

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based off this post http://michosoldblog.tumblr.com/post/50771324089 I read it and I thought of akusai but then bumblebee and it went to hell from there


End file.
